Sick...again!

I can't believe I'm sick...again!!! I do believe I have caught my little daughters cold, but of course it has mutated itself into something a little harsher. This always seems to happen, it's like the illnesses in our family get larger and larger like a downhill snowball. I'll never forget the morning that Tayla was sick for like a minute and then when it came around and was my turn I was down and out for 2 days. I did lose some weight, though! :)
What's funny is that when I was working full-time and was always on the go, I was never sick. Amazing.
I've often wondered if this is a stay at home mom thing...I guess there's got to be some down sides to it.

A Difficult Time is a Blessing

Around this time of year I'm grumpy, tired, unmotivated and do nothing but sleep. It usually takes me the second week to come to the realization as to what is occurring. Three years ago, I went through what most people would not want to go through, mixed emotions from one extreme to another. I gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl and then 3 days later my dad passed away.
This was a time of joy and sorrow. Maybe as the years grow, the anxiety will diminish when this time of year comes around and I'll be able to celebrate my daughters birthday without the underlying feeling of knowing that deep sorrow was mixed in with it. I feel as though she's been cheated because the date of her birth and my dads death are so close together. It's hard to celebrate and then grieve for me especially since I'm such a dramatic person. (Scorpio)
To begin, it was the happiest of times. I will never forget the snowstorm that came across trapping me and my little baby Nora in the hospital one more day. Everything was white and heavenly and I was holding the most precious little angel in my arms...it was just me and her and as far as I was concerned it was the closest thing to heaven that I'll ever feel while on Earth.
Then it happened, the next day my worst nightmare came true. I'd known my dad was not doing well and that his time was short but I had hoped that he had a few weeks left. The cancer was just taking over too fast. A few hours after we arrived home and my husband had to leave to rescue the restaurant, I received the call. My brother telephoned to let me know that my dad was going down hill fast and that he wasn't expected to make it much longer. He asked if I could come to Ft.Wayne, to the nursing home, to be with him and my mother. My world collapsed, all happiness was instantly zapped and I was home alone with my newborn daughter and my 3 year old. I was unable to drive and Todd was working and my dad was dying. I felt trapped, not knowing if I should stay or go...luckily, the way that everything fell into place I had no choice but to stay at home.  I couldn't drive, my ankles at this point were swollen beyond belief and the roads were getting bad due to another snowstorm.
I didn't get much sleep that night wondering what was going with my dad...I remember I kept calling my brother and talking to my mom. Then Nora would wake and I had to comfort her (I think she comforted me)
The next day my brother said that my dad was still hanging on and everything snapped into place and I remember being on the Highway with both kids in the car, Todd driving, I looked at him and said, "This is so surreal, you're driving me to say goodbye to my dad"
Well, I said goodbye to him, stayed by his side for most of the day (as long as my ankles could take it) then I said goodbye knowing that was the last time I'd see him alive. My dad died 4 hours later that night. I think he was hanging on until I could say goodbye and until he got to "see" his little newborn grandchild. I like to think that he knew she was there even though there was no response from him.
 At this point, still to this day, I have no idea what medication the doctor gave me but I didn't cry once...in fact, the medication made me higher than a kite and I was actually smiling and laughing at the Funeral and I've never told anyone this but it actually took me months to start crying and almost a year to start mourning.

For the first time last month I went to his graveside by myself and wept. It felt good.
After the funeral was over and weeks passed there was a light that always shined on us, her name was Nora. She was our little angel that brought joy and  happiness at such a miserable time...it was so nice to see my mom smile when I brought her over. So that is how we made a difficult time into a blessing.

The Winter??? ...Blahhhhhhs

I have what may appear as the winter blah,s but only due to the fact that there is NO winter. This would be the year that winter has skipped itself. Everything is dormant and dead looking...the leaves have dropped and we are having ongoing Spring like rain and temperatures making it a new season I like to call, "Faspring."  There has been the occasional snowstorm which blankets the Earth covering up and making it appear as though winter has come, but then with rising temps the next day POOF! All traces of winter have disappeared leaving the soggy, dormant grass and naked fields bare and exposed once again. There's a reason why winter graces itself upon us and that would be to cover things up until Spring is ready to make the greenery POP.  So with this being said, I believe I probably would have what would be called, "Seasonal Depression" but only because of the lack there of. :)

My Little Big Girl, Tayla

Recently Tayla and I had a discussion about how she's going through just the beginning (Round 1) of tough times. Both she and I are having difficulties, because she's too old to be treated like a little person and she's too little to be treated like an older girl. This makes it tough on how to discipline both her and Nora for the same punishment. Tayla knows better about certain do's and don'ts but little Nora is still on her way of learning. So I tend to yell at Tayla more about things (which probably isn't fair at all) but Nora isn't old enough to know how to defend herself or even act sneaky or pull a fast one on her sister. Maybe once Tayla discovers the benefits of being an older sibling, she'll be able to accept it more. But, until then, she says she wants to be Nora and stay at home with momma all day long and not go to school. What is a mother to do but be flattered when their child says such a thing...but instead, I explained to her how wonderful it is to be a big sister and how wonderful she is at it.

Sunday...the Day of Rest

My Grandmother told about how back in the day, she and her family did NOTHING but go to church on Sundays. Why? Because it was considered the "Day of Rest."  This was back in the old school days when  nothing was open and all there was to do was go to church, go home or maybe visit with friends. I believe that the Amish are the only people who still practice this tradition...what a smart bunch of people!
So I began thinking, "Why don't we have a day of rest??" With all of the hustle and bustle that we do nowadays with working, sporting, gaming, texting, all of the ing's....I do declare that Sunday should be "ing-less" Wouldn't that be nice? For me that would mean no dishes(dishing), picking up after the children, bathing, washing clothes-ing, gardening...my question is, "What would we do??"   First of all, for this to happen, someone would have to medically sedate me in order to get me to do nothing.  My brain would probably then feel as though it turned to mush and you'd see drool dripping off the side of my mouth.
Well, I guess what sounds like a good idea probably worked back in the old school days but in todays world it would be impossible and more of a loss rather than a relaxation. Time is more precious, communication is demanded and all of the "ings" are being done daily because it's what comes natural to us in today's society.
So I'll continue to go about especially right now with my bloggING. :)

To Snowman or Not?

Well, I thought I'd give this blog thing a try since I have the time and resources to scrounge up the occasional thought.  I've been wanting to start a blog ever since my brother, Bryan, sarcastically mentioned that I had quite a "Blog" going on with my Facebook site, meaning, you're placing too many posts on there!
I'm happy with being a stay at home mom but one of the down side is, that you also have no contact with the outside world and have minimal conversation with people over the age of 6. With this being said , it is enticing to place updates on your status every 2 minutes on Facebook, because it gives you the feeling as if you're actually communicating with friends, especially when they post on your updates! Yes, I'm being dramatic but I'm good at it.
The big question today is, "To Snowman or to Not Snowman????" Tayla is 6 and Nora almost 3 and because of global warming and winds and cold temperatures with every winter there is never a perfect mixture for snowman weather. Well, today we'll make yet another attempt to build a snowman...fingers crossed that the snow is the appropriate density. Well...we're off!!